How to start fair treatment between two wives



Question

If a man marries a second wife, how should he start fair treatment between his two wives?

Answer

Praise be to Allaah.

Ibn Qudaamah said: If he marries a virgin, he should stay with her for seven nights, then start alternating (between his wives). If he marries a previously-married woman, then he should stay with her for three nights. That is because Abu Qulaabah narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “It is part of the Sunnah, if a man marries a virgin after marrying a previously-married woman, that he should stay with her for seven days, then start sharing his time, and if he marries a previously-married woman, he should stay with her for three days, then start sharing his time.” Abu Qulaabah said: If you wish, you may say that Anas attributed this to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and it is agreed upon.  If the previously-married woman wants him to stay with her for seven days, then he should do that, and make it up to the other wives later on , because Umm Salamah narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) stayed with her for three days, and he said, “You are not unimportant; if you want I can stay seven nights with you, but if I do that, I have to do likewise with the rest of my wives.” According to another version, “If you wish, I will stay with you for three nights, then I will alternate among you.” According to another report: “If you wish, I will stay with you for three nights exclusively for you.”

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